25 Ways to Annoy the Freemans
by Belletrist Word Salad
Summary: 25 ways to annoy Huey, Riley, and Granddad of the Freeman family. Inspired by vindictive-much's Arrested Development fic, 25 Ways to Annoy the Bluths.
1. Ways to Annoy Huey Freeman

**Disclaimer:** Don't own. Simple as that.

Ways to Annoy Huey Freeman

1. Not take what he says seriously.

2. In addition to not taking him seriously, compliment him and applaud everything he says, especially when it's a criticism.

3. Not listen to his history of Christmas.

4. Congratulate him for his literacy.

5. Idolize gangsta rappers.

6. Dispute his idea of Black Jesus.

7. Unwittingly date a "ho" or a "killer kung-fu wolf bitch".

8. Cook pork with his broccoli.

9. Recite a "corny" poem (cough Dewey Jenkins cough).

10. Force him to "sip tea with the enemy".

11. Trick someone close to him into opening a business only to exploit them.

12. Suck up to white people.

13. Lecture him about telling white people "the truth".

14. Make him question his sanity by constantly appearing and reappearing without anyone else seeing you.

15. Claim you were attacked by dogs and fire hoses during the Civil Rights movement when, in reality, you weren't.

16. Claim you can tame the white supremacist power structure with cheese.

17. Tell him to pray to a God in which he doesn't believe.

18. Preach white supremacy.

19. Open a soul food restaurant.

20. Convince Extreme Makeover to makeover his home, only to have them leave it unfinished.

21. Sing a racist song.

22. Succumb to a "nigga moment".

23. Call rappers beefing each other "catastrophic warfare".

24. Call him "corny" and/or a "fake nigga" for moving to "Whitecrest".

25. Associate with Ed and Rummy.

**Next up:** Riley


	2. Ways to Annoy Riley Freeman

**Author's Note:** I hereby dedicate this fic to my homie, the lovely **saichanlovestoad**. Hope this is to your liking.

Ways to Annoy Riley Freeman

1. If you're Santa, not give him rims for Christmas.

2. Steal his bling.

3. Sign your name on his graffiti.

4. Make him paint over his graffiti.

5. If you're a gangsta rapper, not live up to your "gangsta" image (to Riley, it'll be like "going to Heaven and findin' God smokin' crack").

6. Take his artistic abilities lightly.

7. Steal his newly-rimmed bike.

8. Beat him at basketball.

9. Pressure him to be a snitch.

10. Prosecute a famous rapper.

11. Beat him at Playstation.

12. Lose your temper over losing to him at Playstation.

13. Steal his Airsoft rifle, and later shoot him in the knee with it.

14. Belt him constantly.

15. Kidnap Bill Cosby instead of Oprah Winfrey.

16. Ask him if he's willing to kiss a man to get back his stolen bling (especially if he accidentally answers yes).

17. Discourage him from fighting for his stolen bling.

18. Beat him in a physical fight.

19. Remind him of his bedwetting.

20. Act gay around him.

21. Call rappers beefing the "nigga equivalent of the Cuban Missile Crisis".

22. If you're dating him, make him pay for dinner.

23. Lock him in a closet.

24. Force him to eat something that looks like vomit with peas.

25. Portray him as a Fat Albert lookalike.

**Next up:** Granddad


	3. Ways to Annoy Granddad Freeman

**Author's Note:** Thanks for the reviews, y'all!

Ways to Annoy Granddad Freeman

1. Call a cutie-pie he wants to date a "ho".

2. If you're a cutie-pie, turn out to be a ho or a "killer kung-fu wolf bitch".

3. Tell him Christmas was a pagan holiday.

4. In war, shoot down his plane out of recklessness.

5. Not give him money you owed him.

6. Make him owe money.

7. Pimp his car, then drive off with it when it's revealed he's not blind.

8. Make out with a girl he wanted to court.

9. Make him deliver a eulogy praising you when you did so much to piss him off.

10. Leave him a jar of peanuts in your will.

11. Fake injury to go to the hospital to visit your favorite rapper.

12. Steal his car.

13. Not tell him who stole his car.

14. Criticize his soul food.

15. Force him to shut down his soul food restaurant.

16. Drink the last glass of orange juice.

17. Drink orange juice out of the carton (unless you're a cutie-pie).

18. If he sends you to get more orange juice, not get more.

19. Call his Bill Cosby glasses stupid.

20. Act like either of his grandsons.

21. Act like Uncle Ruckus.

22. Not behave around white people.

23. Question his contributions to the civil rights movement.

24. Take credit for his accomplishments.

25. Tell him he's not advancing any struggle by being cheap.

**That's all, folks! Thanks for reading!**


End file.
